What are LIMITING BELIEFS and their ORIGINS

Have you ever set a big goal for yourself, felt enthusiastic for a moment, and shortly (or immediately) after, heard this nagging voice in your head saying things like: Who do you think you are to have that? No way, that’s not possible for you!

This voice can find millions of reasons why you should not (or should) do it, and it gives you all the proof, too! This negative self-talk indicates our limiting beliefs.

To begin with, we ALL have this inner voice that endlessly criticizes and bullies us.

By becoming aware of our limiting beliefs, we can begin to understand and uncover our deeply seated issues.

A belief is any proposition that is accepted as true on the basis of inconclusive evidence. More generally, belief is conviction, faith, or confidence in something or someone, according to Oxford Reference.

Limiting beliefs are stubborn thoughts that can prevent us from discovering the amazing potential within us. They shape our decisions, perceptions, behavior, self-image, relationships, and pretty much every area of our lives!

We primarily form these beliefs during early childhood, which are later reinforced by societal conditioning, personal experiences, and the opinions of others. And the worst part? We don’t even realize they control us; they are part of our subconscious programming. They run in the background, making choices for us without our awareness.

But what if you could reclaim your power by recognizing and reshaping these barriers in a way that works better for you?

If you feel tired of the same repetitive patterns that keep occurring in your life and find yourself feeling trapped or stuck, the good news is that you can change both yourself and your situation. The truth is that the only limitations are those we believe in.

WHAT ARE LIMITING BELIEFS?

Limiting beliefs are deeply held assumptions that restrict our perception of what is possible.

Essentially, they are stories we keep telling ourselves, which may seem extremely convincing. These stories are holding us back from living the lives we truly desire. They keep us in our comfort zones, making sure we don’t use our potential.

These assumptions are rarely accurate, but they feel like the truth because they carry an emotional charge.

Over time, we looked for the evidence and made conclusions – beliefs about something.

We often express them as generalizations or absolutes (everyone, all of them, always, never).

The Role of the Subconscious Mind in Developing Limiting Beliefs

It is important to understand that we cannot change something unless we know it, right? The rational mind is conscious, while the subconscious operates automatically. 

Limiting beliefs are rooted in the subconscious mind, meaning they often feel like undeniable truths that we, unfortunately, rarely question.

There are many ways the subconscious mind can form beliefs. Some of them are early childhood programming, repetition (the subconscious mind learns through repetition), confirmation bias (looking for evidence to confirm), emotional experiences, and trauma.

WHERE DO THEY COME FROM?

As Dr. Bruce Lipton says in this video, until the age of 7, we’re like sponges; we form our identity around beliefs presented to us and take them as our own. We live in a highly receptive subconscious theta state. We internalize ideas presented to us as our own absolute truth.

Our families (caregivers) pass to us, usually unknowingly, their own fears and other limitations based on their own experiences. The important thing here is to realize that we have our own minds and will to choose better. They did their best with what they knew and had at the time.

Society plays a huge role in shaping our beliefs, whether about relationships, personal values, gender roles, or success. From a young age, we encounter concepts about what we should or shouldn’t do, along with ideas about what is considered “normal” and “acceptable.” Our social environment actively shapes our political, religious, and moral beliefs.

So, many of our limiting beliefs come not just from personal experiences but also from the world around us. Generations, reinforced by society, pass them down and rarely question them.

Researchers found that reminding women of the stereotype that “men are better at math” significantly decreased their test performance. In contrast, when the stereotype wasn’t mentioned, women performed equally as well as men.

Another study shows that if society repeatedly sends the message that specific opportunities are not for someone like you, individuals might be led to believe, “People like me don’t succeed.”

Disappointments, past failures, struggles, and rejections often reinforce limiting beliefs. When things don’t go as planned, we tend to find reasons and create narratives in our minds that validate our struggles.

If a person launches a small business and fails, it might conclude, “I’m not good enough at this, I should stick to a safe job.”

For example, if a person struggled with math in school, it might have a narrative “I’m just not a math person.”

Or, if a person experiences heartbreak, betrayal, or rejection, it might lead to the conclusion, “Love hurts, and I always end up in pain.”

The impact of social media, especially nowadays, is stronger than ever before. We are under a huge influence from it. When media consistently portrays certain groups in stereotypical ways, individuals from those groups may internalize limiting beliefs about their own potential.

Social media frequently promotes unrealistic beauty standards, causing individuals to think, for instance, “I’m not attractive enough to be valued.”

Religious and spiritual teachings should provide guidance, purpose, and moral grounding. Still, when specific messages are misinterpreted or taken to extremes, they can also lead to limiting beliefs that prevent people from growing, succeeding, and being happy.

This study shows that participants who believed God was in total control of their success were less likely to take risks, pursue ambitious goals, or believe in their ability to change their circumstances.

Below are a few examples we’ve drawn from religious and spiritual sources: 

Wanting more is greedy and wrong. 

Suffering is noble. 

Putting my needs first is selfish.

Our learning experiences actively shape our self-esteem and influence our perceptions of intelligence.

From a young age, adults categorize us based on our performance. We rely on external validation and learn what’s right and wrong from their guidance. The system is based on the one-size-fits-all principle.

Grading systems promote comparison, which inevitably impacts self-worth, and specific experiences can permanently mark our self-image. 

The conclusions might be: “If I don’t get it right the first time, I’m not smart” or “I’ll never be as smart as them.”

Fear & the Need for Safety

Certain limiting beliefs develop as a shield against future hurt. Our brains are inherently wired for survival, prioritizing our safety by avoiding discomfort and potential failure.

For many people, fear of failure (What if I try and fail?) connects them to their sense of self-esteem and self-worth. It comes from our basic need to feel safe. This fear can also manifest as a way to avoid the embarrassment and shame of not achieving specific goals.

What it also does is it keeps us in our comfort zone because if I don’t try, I can’t fail, so I can keep my dignity.

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. – Denis Waitley

Fear of rejection (What if people don’t accept me?) also stems from our basic need for belonging, social connection, and acceptance. That’s why the idea of being criticized, ridiculed, judged, or rejected can feel painful.

An example of a common limiting belief is If people see the real me, they won’t accept me.

Fear of uncertainty (What if things don’t go as planned?) is blocking us from taking risks and making a desired change. Even if we feel unhappy in the current situation, it seems complicated to make a change because it feels scary and unknown. On the other hand, the comfort zone feels familiar, safe, and risk-free.

Ex. I should stay where I am because at least I know what to expect.

Although it might seem weird initially, fear of success (What if I succeed and can’t handle it?) is pretty common. It might tell us that we won’t be able to live up to expectations, or it will challenge us to outgrow preexisting relationships. We also might feel guilty about attaining financial success.

For example, if I succeed, people will expect too much from me.

Self-fulfilling prophecy

You’ve probably heard of the term self-fulfilling prophecy. It deserves a spot in this article because it is a shining example of ‘you reap what you sow’. Our conviction directly influences our behavior in a way that makes a belief come true.

So, the question is, do your expectations work for you – or against you?

Conclusion

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” – Henry Ford

As we mentioned at the beginning of this post, limiting beliefs are subconscious assumptions or thoughts that restrict what we believe is possible. Once we become aware of them and start questioning them, they lose much of their power over us.

This is fantastic news! These beliefs are not permanent. Just as we develop our beliefs through repetition and reinforcement, we can confront and replace them with new, growth-focused, and empowering beliefs.

Now that we understand what limiting beliefs are and where they originate, we are already halfway to breaking free from their chains and living the life we truly desire. The next step involves recognizing and dismantling them, as the only real limits are those we choose to accept.